Thirty for thirty - update

I wrote a list of 30 changes that I hope to achieve in my 31st year of life (because I didn't get around to writing New Year resolutions). I posted the list on this blog. Approximately 1/17th of the year has passed and I haven't achieved much. The only items I can claim to have addressed are #30 Be less of a mega-bitch (a la Shannen Doherty's Heather in Heathers) and #13 Donate at least 3% of pre-tax income to charity (not including the arts). Well, I haven't donated thousands of dollars to charity in the past 3 1/2 weeks but unless I cancel some of my regular contributions, I should get there (thanks to harassment by my former University for donations). I haven't been actively trying to tone down the bitchiness. It just happened that way.  Today at work (at the hospice) I was mistaken for a Pastoral Care chaplain!

Slow day at the office

Two cups of coffee
Two slices of butter cake
And a cup of tea

Even though I had Chinese for dinner last night

Tummy is grumbling.
It is Chinese New Year so
time for some yum cha? 

I have the skin of a teenager

Oh enormous zit,
You threaten to eat my face
Like an extra nose

It doesn't make sense if you're tailing someone

Dear Magnum P.I.
You are so conspicuous
in your red sports car

Doctors, nurses and funeral directors

I see dead people.
But not like that stupid kid
from that ghost movie.

Second day

New job, new title,
new salary bracket and
new bureaucracy

Another email spam haiku

Greater organ length
Will provide you ultimate
Fun for lady friend