Better fitness through shoddy workmanship

My lift is broken
yet again. I am forced to
use the stairs instead.

This won't mean much if you weren't into the Babysitters Club*

Dawn meets Zach Braff! Giggles.

* I always wished they'd put an apostrophe after the "s". I was such a nerd child.**
**Who's grown into a nerd adult.

Zzzzzz

Eyes won't stay open
Clean sheets, thick pillow slips and
Firm mattress await.

Maybe I should stop going to the cheap nail place

A noxious odour
Has wafted up from my feet
Since my pedicure

How embarrassing. I have been wearing skirts all week.

Having pedicure
Girl at feet asks if I would
like my legs waxed too!

Why quantity will rule over quality, even more than ever

When I started this,
this Cerebral Excrement,
I had a target.

I wanted to write
one haiku per day, at least
one on average.

As I approach one
year of Excrement I am
short of my target.

Hence I must produce
fifty-four little haiku
in the next three weeks.

Please excuse the crap,
the crapper than usual
shitty excrement!

At least with this post
I have conquered six of the
fifty-four haiku!

Easter Bunny Survey

Which do you eat first?
The ears, so bunny can't hear,
Or bunny's bottom?

Life's small pleasures

Cutting my toenails
Makes my feet feel clean and neat
Like a bald baby

My new typewriter arrived this week*

Hello, Typewriter.
We will be friends. You'll type good,
And I'll write gooder.

*surprisingly intact. Who sends a typewriter through the post with no padding/bubble wrap. Sheesh.

Bleh

Thirteen hours at work
One more hour of on-call left
Visited the morgue

Some of my favourite glands

 Pineal gland by I Heart Guts

Parathyroid (gl)and
Thyroid (gl)and, pineal (gl)and
Pituitary.