Saturday, January 30, 2010

I wanted it to be shit, especially the excrement

My new blog header
You'd better like it, bitches
Or I'm gonna cry

Mr Pompom Head

I have a friend D who likes to make mixtapes with songs containing the word fuck,  and whose birthday it is today. I gave her this skipping rope badge (the skipping rope is a chain! Genius) although as any bespectacled person will tell you, skipping in glasses is not convenient. Fortunately for this lass, the glasses have no chance of falling off her sweaty nose or steaming up so she can't see the hairy instructor.

I can't remember who made this card; I bought it in Portland. I love Bill Waterson and that pompom head toilet roll guy really tugs at my heart strings. However bad my job may be, at least I'm not in charge of toilet paper. 
Happy Birthday D.

Stuff I did tonight when I should have been studying

Little Creatures Pils,
Stella Artois, Jägerbomb*
Vodka, tequila.

*I have not turned into an American college student. Someone bought it for me.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

More auctions for Haiti

Remember how I posted about buying stuff in support of Haiti and how it made me feel like a privileged wanker? One of the sites, Switch Cities, raised so much money that they're having a second auction. The prints are massive (I thought the sizes must be in centimetres despite being American but they're really inches - c'mon ladies, how often do you get a pleasant surprise like that!) and the bidding starts ridiculously low. All of the proceeds are going to charity with no profits to the photographers. Go here to bid on beauties like these (by Marina Miller, top, and Jonas Peterson, below).

There's a similar auction, with proceeds to Hope for Haiti Now, over at Erin Lassahn Photography. Bids on these pretties start at US$10 and as I write this, some photos don't have any bids (such as this 13x13 print by Steven Kim, below)!

Adorn your walls and support an extremely worthy cause while you do it (and lose some middle class guilt).

I'm so calm when I look at these

My new sedative
Prescribed by Doctor Tumblr
He keeps me serene


Just 'cause.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hello, Mr Bunny

Mr Bunny used to live in the guest bathroom but I moved him back out to the photo wall. I bought him at an art exhibit at Seibu Loft (aka heaven) last time I was in Japan. I am not sure of the artist's name due to my lack of Japanese.

I keep buying new photos and prints and the wall is running out of space. (I wonder if I can fit it all in one photo?)

I keep seeing blog posts (most recently on From the Right Bank) about art walls, with elaborate planning of the position of each frame, either using CAD or cutting out paper to represent each frame and sticking it on the wall, or laying all the frames on the floor until you decide on the best layout. Wow. Mine have just been stuck up there completely at random. If I had a spirit level I would probably have used it but I find all the wonkiness cancels itself out. Meh.

You call that camp? THIS is camp.

Male figure skater
Caresses his own buttock
Gyrates his pelvis

Johnny Weir discovered via Go Fug Yourself. Someone better do Gaga at the winter Olympics.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Americans and Australians

You say melena; I say melaena. Either way, it's disgusting.

Nice Package

Last week I received a surprise in the post - a Christmas gift (well, it was wrapped in Christmas paper) from my uni bestie, Mr Doink. He gives excellent presents - once, he gave me a roll of gaffer tape, citing its utility for mending torn clothes. This time, he sent a fun Gin & Titonic ice cube mould plus some smiling ghost magnets from Melbourne's HMC Designs. The magnets have been useful for attaching my study timetable to the metal strips I hung over my desk last weekend after moving my desk.

Where he outdid himself was with the card. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it with you. The message isn't too personal. Unless I read into the fact that it is a sticky note advertising a cervical cancer vaccine, that I can't even get any more (unless I pay for it) because I'M TOO OLD. (Also, I wonder if he forgot that I don't take drug company freebies.)

I hope he doesn't think I'm being ungrateful! I love my present, Dave. I hope you loved yours too. Can't wait until next Christmas.

I'm studying while the rest of the country gets drunk

Australia Day.
I'll study liver disease
To placate myself.

Monday, January 25, 2010

An observation

Reflection of my
Cleavage in computer screen
Is quite flattering

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Summer's sartorial splendour

To girl in white dress:
Next time, please wear a bra, and
Don't bend down so far.

This calls for a haiku-off

Has anyone seen the nominations for this year's Bloggies? Don't bother unless you are a mummy/mommy to young children, a nauseating newlywed or a hardcore cyclist.

Having said that, I did discover one NZ blog that, far from making me want to drown kittens and tattoo "FUCK OFF" on my forehead, had me clicking on its "Archive" button. With features like "Wieners of the Week" and statements like, "And now I look like a Greek banker and smell like a five-dollar whore," you know you want to click over to today is my birthday. She has even written a haiku for each of her past lovers. Although, "lovers" may not be the most accurate term. "People she's fucked" may be better. (Look at me, so much expletive use and it's not even 9am. On a Sunday. Fuck! Why a I up so early on a Sunday? I'm going back to bed.)