my wardrobe is a bank

One hundred dollars
In my right jacket pocket
What a lucky find

Observation

Picture of cracker
On the water cracker box
Is actual size

Outbreaks

Diarrhoea is
Socially isolating
and most unpleasant.

Way to waste time

See what books people are buying and where.

an obsolete haiku

I did not shower
today. I did not shower
yesterday. I stink.

Tired

A blank rectangle
Awaits my meaningless words
But I can't find them

Why Sam's birthday haiku was so terrible

Does your name have two
Or three syllables, young man?
(I) can't tell, Samuel.

I'm sure you know that
Your name is an anagram:
"U's LAME" (but u's not)

I become filled with an inexplicable anxiety

Please don't give me cash
And don't try to pay for me.
I'm not destitute.

Birthday haiku for Sam

Pee birthday to you
You smell like a monkey and
You look like a Jew*

*because you're Jewish, not because monkey-smelling people look Jewish in general.