Little Sarah wrapped my Christmas present very well indeed. She presented me with a box-shaped gift wrapped in phone book paper torn from the White Pages. There was a white envelope tied onto it with green ribbon and a large serif "E" cut out from the phone book paper stuck onto the envelope. I opened the envelope, expecting a card but instead it was full of tipping money for Xotica, a local strip club. I took a closer look at the green ribbon, which was printed with "Crabtree & Evelyn". Hmm...I was a bit disappointed, seeing as Sarah knows so well the sort of stuff I like. I removed the paper, expecting to see some toiletries or smelly stuff. However, I was greeted by an old shoe box. Aah, decoy wrapping! I opened the box and pulled out a leotard-bodysuit-type-thing made of silver lame.
"You'll wear that, won't you?" Sarah asked me, eyes wide. "Um, sure," I responded and feigned enthusiasm. I removed the next item from the box - a hot pink sequin elastic boob tube (aka tube top). Again, something I would never wear. I held it up to my front, confirming that there was no way it would stretch enough to fit over my boobs. "Uh, thanks," I told a grinning Sarah as I tried to look delighted. There was another item in the box, wrapped in red and white polka dot paper. I began to unwrap it and recognised a familiar black box inside. "Ooh, what is this?" I asked. "You know what it is," Sarah replied. It was a pair of Karen Walker sunglasses I had been coveting but decided not to buy because I felt guilty about having so many sunglasses already. I had recognised the box because I've already bought six pairs myself (including one that I lost and one that I gave to Sarah as a gift because I don't want her getting wrinkles from squinting at the sun). She explained that the leotard and boob tube were regrettable late-night drunken online purchases that she never wore (although she did grab them back from me quick smart...)
Thank you so much Little Sarah! You are awesome.